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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Entrecard Humor - Who Ever Thought a Traffic Widget Could Be So Funny?

Whoever thought Entrecard could be funny?  We all know that there are some who think that Entrecard is a joke, but funny?

Well, Hold Onto Your Hats Because....

IT IS!

Yes, when you've used Entrecard as much as I have and have looked up its skirt from every angle humanly possible, some odd things begin to emerge.  It's like, suddenly, they just start to jump out at you and you wonder,

"Am I Really Seeing This?"

ANALING

Take, for example, the lovely Anna Ling,


there's one in me right now

Oh PLEASE...!  Girlfriend, don't even TELL me it's a language thing!  I mean, I really want to believe she MEANS "Anna Ling" but the "L" isn't even capitalized.  And that 2nd "n" doesn't change a thing... 

Don't lie.  It's not just me and you know it.

I don't even know if there IS such a word as "analing" but I've no doubt that such a word would be perfectly understood in the Craigslist "Escort" section.  If ever there was such a thing as "code talk" then this is a primse example for the vice squad training manual!  Girlfriend, PLEASE!

This Next One Better Have Something to Do With Articles!

The mad irony, is that it wasn't that far away from Annaling.  And it got me to do something I don't very often do - I started to wonder if maybe some minor deity was playing a really cruel joke on me.  After all, I'm only human!  Please... PLEASE, just look me in the eye and tell me that the creator of that name didn't look at it and say, "Awesome!  I can lie and just say it's about quickly grabbing articles!  Woohoo!" 

Do I look like I was born yesterday?!

Ok, Now Tell Me This Next One Was Nearby Due to Sheer Coincidence...!

Oh sure, there's fire trucks and transformers on the ad, aren't they just so cute?  But we know what this really means!  This is a conspiracy by all of Entrecard's detractors to make Entrecard seem seedy.  They're just jealous!  Since they don't know how to capitalize on their Entrecard traffic, their next move was to flood it with these lascivious ads, attempting to undermine it's family-oriented credibility!

Well, I Never!

Oh, I Can Look No Longer!

Oh SURE!  Are we REALLY to believe this man is showing us he is broke?!  NAY!  This man is inviting you to "kiss the rabbit on the nose!", is that not ridiculously foul or what?!  What has come over people these days?! 

Don't you get it?!

At Least This Next Person Is Honest!

Or is she?!!?!  So what if she comes out and admits that she has a lot more in common with Britney Spears than her...  than her... than her... well, the point is, how do we KNOW she's the best?  Not even an offer of free samples, just a brazen admission that she is the sultry, sultana of silicon sin city!

My Word!  Tell Me Where Is Sanity?!

As For This Last One?  I Am Utterly Speechless.

Oh, yeah, right, a monkey, suuuure!!  Monkey's eyes are NOT that close!  Ok, so maybe I do have words - THREE words:  Pen.  Tail.  Banana.  Is anyone putting 2+2 together and coming up with 69?  This is all about that wretched, rabies-laden, bugmobile's  dingle-dangle.  Look, that radioactive monkey-thing IS dangling.  Ok, so what ELSE dangles?  Hmmm?  See what I'm sayin'?

Like I'm Stupid or Sumthin!

Now This Next Event Really Pissed Me Off!

Trainers of man's best friend rejected my ad?!!  Now, seriously, does anyone in their right mind think that I need traffic from a dog trainer's site?  The short answer is - NO!  I'd actually thought, "What the heck is a dog training site doing looking for an audience the size of a pin in a place the size of 10 haystacks?!" so I thought I'd give them a little business and maybe an inspirational boost.  But they denied me! 

So guess what?  I WAS going to take my dog to get trained by you but since you rejected me, I've decided to go elsewhere! 

Want Some More of This Turnquist?  Didn't think so..!

But Look... Look Who Accepted My Ad...

Awwwww, a wittew kitty... how cute?  NOT!  Do I really need to spell it out this time?!  Or is it enough to say that I paid her my 2 credits and when I was done, I checked my wallet and 30 credits were missing?!  What the heck is going on here?

Why can't all those crazy people be nice and upstanding like me?

Entrecard.... You Owe Us Some Answers!

I Hope You Enjoyed a Brief Respite from All the Madness...

Now Leave a Comment, Drop Your Card and Get the Heck Outta Here!

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Sam Freedom"s Internet Marketing Controversy Blog

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11 comments:

Woobie said...

OMG you dared!!!

I feel so left out that I wasn't highlighted in this barrage :D
Cmon, hit me!

LOL, I find it funny (probably because I wasn't made fun of directly) but some may not. ^^

Sam Freedom said...

Some of them might not find it funny? Cmon, really? ;-)

Keep it up, though, I'll find a place for you.

Sam Freedom said...

ps Dear Woobie, you just happened to overlook something. I could have used any number of snapshots of my being "Most Recommended" but I used the one with your icon in it.

But your evil blinds you!!

Paul Hartrick said...

damn funny, and I expect nothing else...who cares what other people think..sticks and stones will break my bones but you can also switch off..

Sam Freedom said...

Hi Paul,

Exactly. To be clear, though, I'm absolutely not out to upset someone who isn't geared for it but, I think, many people can understand, and appreciate, a little internet humor.

Tokyo Expat said...

This is why I read all your posts. This one is a great one that reminds myself to not take myself too seriously! Keep it up.

Adam@30DayMan said...

Hey Sam.

Cool post, hilarious stuff man.

You didn't mention my entrecard logo of the inbred oldtimer!?

Does it stand out? :)

Anonymous said...

Good post, big balls have you!

Just wait until you check your Google 'anal' ytics next and see all the pervs who will hit your site looking for arse-love.
LOL
AL
lifeandlawns.com

Sam Freedom said...

@tokyo expat - that's all well and good as long as others take you seriously.

@adam - the inbred old timer is definitely bizarre but he didn't quite fit in to the theme. Maybe next time...

@Al - a real punster, you are. That was pretty funny coming from a "lawn muncher".

Turnip said...

Another laugh out loud post. Just glad none of my cards made it there, yet.

Matt Ellsworth said...

Wow i can't believe I missed this before... LOL...

ArticleSnatch was started 2 years ago. I was looking for a name of an article directory and I went to a thesaurus and found out that snatch means to grab quickly or forcefully - so it sounded good to me. That and my friend thought it was amusing.

I'm glad you find it funny as well.