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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

What a Bunch of Bull Backlink Contest!

Think like an internet marketer -- as opposed to a mere consumer. The first person to correctly guess HOW I ended up watching the following video wins a month-long backlink from this site and a quick mention in my next post.

Hint: It was NOT for recreational purposes.

Rules: You only get 1 guess. And, at my discretion, I may award multiple prizes if more than one person guesses the same thing. Also, I reserve the right to reject any site I deem offensive, or just plain garbage.

So how might I, in the course of "make money online" type WORK, did I end up viewing that video? Good luck!

Sam Freedom"s Internet Marketing Controversy Blog

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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Hey Dude, Where's My Fucking Candy?

Halloween is now, officially, over. We do not need to wait for Obama to win the presidency to begin, as good citizens, implementing his wondrous and generous policies. Starting now, you can teach your children all about socialism by dumping out all their Halloween candy on the bed and explaining to them that since there are poor children in the neighborhood, they have no choice but to give them a portion of their candy.

Tell them this is not a choice. You are mandating it. Explain that "sharing" is a good thing so you are forcing it on them for their own good.

Explain to your children that if they have under 10 pieces of candy, they not only get to keep it all, but they'll be the lucky ones to get extra candy from all the kids who walked around many neighborhoods and worked so hard at collecting lots of it. If that applies to your child, you just explain that it's not their fault their little legs couldn't keep up with all those bigger, more fit, children. So, their parents will be forcing them to give some of their candy with you.

If your child has over 10 pieces, but under 50, you explain that they just made it in under the wire and that their mediocre effort will be sufficient enough to prevent them from having to give more than 35% of it away to the kids in the neighborhood who suffered from Xbox addiction and were too obese to walk around the neighborhood collecting candy. This is not a choice, it's a mandate. We don't want our neighbors getting too depressed.

If your child has over 50 pieces, calmly explain that he or she is fucked. Try to use gentler terminology when doing so but, as soon as they see their hard-earned candy heading out the door to some lazy, fat fuck who didn't do a single thing for it, it won't even matter what you're saying. The tears and sobbing will drown you out and not only will they not give a damn crap about how "good" it is to share, but they'll hate the concept for the rest of their lives and they'll resent all the lazy bastards who know that by not lifting a finger, they'll end up with your child's candy.

And, soon enough, your child will become one of them.

Everyone who wants to make money online should be concerned,
Happy Halloween!

Sam Freedom"s Internet Marketing Controversy Blog

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