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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Thanks to Alexa, I'll C U Next Tuesday!

Some things, you just can't stop... no matter how hard you try.

Take, for instance, Alexa.  Anyone who is here by intent knows Alexa.  It's a website that many take as the final arbiter of which sites on the web are most visited.  Are you gonna stop Alexa?  Probably not, and why would you want to anyways?  For web marketers and related service industries, it's a valuable resource.

And Then There's P0rn.  Good Ol' P0rn.

You can throw it, you can kick it, you can scream "Get thee back, Satan!", wrap it in a plastic bag, put in a lockbox, toss it in a chest, fill it with cement and drop it off a ship in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and, sooner or later, it's back again, somehow showing up on your doorstep.

And, let's be honest, many of you invite it back in.

After all, you're good people, you don't like to judge, you like to give everyone and everything a second chance, right?.  So maybe, just maybe, if we all show a little more discipline, a little more self-control, a little more understaaaaaanding, we can reconcile with our dear beloved p0rn and live happily ever after, right? (click Ashcroft's picture)

Well, It Looks As If You're Going to Have To...

After all the typical, obvious Top 500 Alexa-ranking websites such as Yahoo, Youtube, Microsoft Live and all the social networking sites on which tons of kiddies hang out, we find, just barely eclipsed by Google Chile, Megarotic, in position number 23.  It makes me wonder, out of 195, or so, countries in the world, just what the heck are all those Chileans searching for?  I'll bet if Chileans knew about Megarotic, Google Chile's high-ranking would become a thing of the past.

Seriously, do you think Chileans are searching for "how to" instructions on growing hydroponic maize?  Or how to breed virus-resistant farm-raised sea bass?  Don't think so.  They are, most likely, searching for Megarotic AND, in position number 32, YouP0rn (they also beat out Apple, Craigslist and Amazon).

Just Think About That For A Second...

Since it's abundantly clear that the bulk of searches are composed of people looking for free p*0rn (have to do that to avoid the p*rn bots), if searchers checked Alexa we would see a MASSIVE restructuring of the online, and world, economies.

First, people would stop paying for it since they could get massive amounts of it for free.  And, second, all the major search sites would take a massive hit and, ultimately, be eclipsed, on Alexa, by sites like Megarotic and YouP0rn, the new "movers and shakers."  Adult sites would go down the tube, with major search sites clinging to the tube.  Social networking sites, however, would continue to reign supreme because that's where all the degenerates would go to see if they could find anyone with which to actually do all those lovely new tricks they learn on Megarotic.

In Conclusion

It's like I said folks, you can beat it, you can kick it, you can fry it in trans-fatty acids and feed it to the poor and it's still going to come up smellin like rose petals (<--- sheer brilliance on wordplay):  p0rn is here to stay.  The tension of the opposites, the battle between the forces of good and evil, the invisible influences that shape our economies and our lives is not only the simple fact of life in this world but it's the only way that an otherwise lifeless piece of clay called a human being can develop.

In short, p0rn is your friend.  It will never abandon or betray you no matter how disloyal or inconsiderate you are towards it.  What the heck more can you ask for in this day and age you ungrateful bastards?!


Sam Freedom"s Internet Marketing Controversy Blog

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22 comments:

Life & Lawns said...

I saw somewhere that p0rn dot com sold last year for millions of dollars. Sheesh, who'd a thunk it?
LOL

Gary A said...

All this post lacks is Ron Paul and it would be perfect link bait.

Sam Freedom said...

@gary - i'm all ears, gary... what should we say about him? ;-)

BadEvan said...

I'm surprised more people haven't noticed this...or been brave enough to comment on it.

I prefer RedTube over Megarotic ;)

Anonymous said...

I like the pic of the google girl though lol.

Interesting post though.

Big Pappa said...

You may have to accept is presence but do you have to embrace it?

Cosmetic Dentist said...

Personally I pay little attention to Alexa, and even less attention to porn.

Dental Marketing said...

It is amazing how much money porn makes on the internet.

Dental Focus said...

No wonder internet may be legally or illegally, directly or indirectly making heaps of money.

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Adult Braces Girl Katty said...

To each their own... Has google ever published how much money he's making on P0rn keywords?

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friends said...

All this post lacks is Ron Paul and it would be perfect link bait.

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Mobil Keluarga said...

I like the pic of the google girl though lol.

Interesting post though.

Porn fan said...

Its always about porn. Lol Porn rulz

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