4 Out of 5 Twitterers Surveyed Said....!

Any ensuing Twitter search, performed at TwitterVolume, are in no way intended to represent anything accurately.  They are done mainly for fun BUT... are also meant to convey a latent possibility about Twitter that, if properly understood and developed, can be VERY, VERY powerful and, quite possibly, VERY, VERY dangerous..

But for now, you need to know that there are...

The 3 Quintessential Groups of People Twittering and Tweeting On and About Twitter:

1. The early adopters:  you could take the old "tin cans and a piece of string", repackage it and throw it to a pack of these types and they'd tell all their friends about it as if it were the next best thing since Marconi came out with Morse code.  Early adopters don't even necessarily care about all the nooks and crannies, twists and turns, or potentials of a new technology.  They just know that it's markedly different and it [enter some benefit here like "made their pizza warmer" or "cancelled out the frequency of their bosses voice"] and that's good enough for them. 
   Early adopters will spread the word faster than a case of dysentery passing through a boatload of stowaways.
   So if you're an early adopter, nothing short of a long stay at a top-notch mental health facility will make you aware that your habits mirror those found on MTV's, "The Real World." (hint, none of it's real).
2. The curious but skeptical:  these people are reminiscent of those mid-sized bass who circle a bait for like an hour before finally saying, "Okeedoke... ain't seem to be no hooks 'round here!" even though 2 million other bass have just gone tearing through "the sky" on the wings of an exact copy of the "dinner" on which they're about to "Pownce." 
   The curious but skeptical will almost always bite if you can keep their attention long enough and/or keep new, flashy competition at bay.  If you're one of them, a good exercise for you would be to visit a Zen monastery in Burma and study Visspasana meditation for about 6 months.

3. The "what-the-heys":  this clan's holy symbol is a Guinness Book of World Records size question mark.  Not only do they not get Twitter but they also don't even try to get it... unless you consider blogging an "I don't get it!" post as some kind of an unconscious cry for help.  A good example of their being stymied would be single-serve coffee makers. 
   What-the-heys could easily understand how making coffee at home could result in $X saved every year but they wouldn't fathom why anyone with a good old-fashioned coffee maker would want to pay more, on a per-pound basis, for the single-serve packages.  How about, "because good coffee is already $7.99+/lb and if you're wasting 1 or more cups per brew then single-serve is a potential money-saver, ya stooge!" 
   What-the-heys tend to not order a $4 glass of wine on a flight because they know they can get if for a dollar less at the airport.  So if you're a "what-the-hey", a good exercise for you would be to watch re-runs of McGuyver.

Ok, now that I've unintentionally insulted about 95% of my readership, let me explain why it's useful to know that...

YOU (go look at the date) are only seeing the "humble beginnings" of the Great Starship Twitterprise.  As far as I'm concerned, it is THE MOST INSIDIOUS social media application I've ever seen.  And since I don't sit at home doing full-scale, techno-droid analysis of each one, feel free to discount that statement to your heart's delight.  But mark my words....

If You Think You Have Issues With the Patriot Act...

If government jackals start kicking down doors in the middle of the night without issuing warrants, in the very least, you have the power to revolt.  But what can you do when you have 100s of tentacles in you, feeding voraciously on the most precious stuff you, or any human being, have to offer:  ATTENTION.

Oh shit!  So you meant the Scoble Starfish is EATING me?

Link to Video In Case It Doesn't Appear

"Argument One--The Mediation of Experience

"As humans have moved into totally artificial environments, our direct contact with an knowledge of the planet has been snapped. Disconnected, like astronauts floating in space, we cannot know up from down or truth from fiction. Conditions are appropriate for the implantation of arbitrary realities. Television is one recent example of this, a serious one, since it greatly accelerates the problem." Jerry Mander, The Four Arguments for the Elimination of Television

Now, I am not a conspiracy theorist but, if your head has been in this game a while, you'll have undoubtedly found a number of the "What-the-heys" who are blogging, "I just don't get Twitter!" or "What's the big deal with Twitter?" and I believe they deserve a response that doesn't, AS USUAL, emphasize only the "happy-happy-joy-joy" aspects of it.

After all, wouldn't emphasizing only the positive and ignoring all of the negative about social media applications, like Twitter, pretty much put you in a similar category as Donald Rumsfeld?

The fact is, any benefit of individuals (or local organizations) using Twitter is vastly overshadowed by what it portends in benefit to major corporations (or individual rogues who know how to tap into and/or manipulate its data).  For what you really have on a MOMENT-TO-MOMENT basis are a bunch of fairly intelligent, technologically savvy individuals blurting out whatever the heck they want, from pretty much wherever they want and have it almost instantly read by others however they want from wherever they want. 

Almost Sounds Like Freedom, Huh?

I would almost bet you ANYTHING that Twitter gets snapped up by Google because data mining MINDLESS activity of this kind and magnitude is simply PRICELESS.  We're not talking about the oh-so-revered "targeted search" at Google, or the supremely glorified site metrics from your favorite analytics.  We're talking about what millions upon millions of people do WHEN THERE'S NOBODY HOME.

The joke backfired and the house burnt down.

Oh I know many people reading this will think that they're perfectly fine and conscious when they're mobile twittering from the local car wash:

click here to see 2 months worth of car wash twittering!

I know, I know... we're all perfectly conscious all of the time, right?  But are we?  With Rich Schefren citing studies showing that the average CEO is productive for about 28 minutes per day and most of us unable to drive 30 feet without going into a hypnotic trance, are we REALLY so conscious?

So now, TWITTER is going to be the ultimate, REAL-TIME honey pot data center for how millions of otherwise "intelligent", tech-savvy people behave when they are free to communicate whatever they want, however they want, to whomever they want, whenever they want, from wherever they want in a totally hypnotic, tranced-out, unimpeded state.

"Welcome to TWITTER, the ultimate data repository for tapping into humanity's TRUE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS living.  We hope your stay is enjoyable."

Essentially, it's data mining your unconscious behavior on a much deeper level than ever before without having to follow you around with a camera or install one in your living room.  You've done it for them!  On your mobile phones, too!  Awesome, huh?!?!

And Now for Something Completely Different...

The title of this article is "4 out of 5 Twitterers Surveyed..." and it began by saying, "Any ensuing searches, performed at TwitterVolume, are in no way intended to represent anything accurately."  So here's a few simple, fun searches I conducted using TWITTERVOLUME:

R - Rated:  What is the drug of choice for TWITTERERS?

I think you'll be surprised.  Oxys came in so low they were barely a blip.  Seems Twitterers are right in line with the national past time of a good ol toot every now with puff and shoot going neck-and-neck for second place.  Hippies came in a dismal last place with their trippy stuff.

But you'll be surprised which drug Twitterers preferred most!

X - Rated: What are Twitterers favorite Sex Act?

I think readers will be surprised who "came from behind" to win this one.  But you'll see that the data is going to rain hell down on men when Twitter reveals that things between men and women are still truly not, cough cough, so equal in this area.

G - Rated: What do Twitters Like to Drink Most?

The first soda company that comes out with coffee soda is going to rake it in... with or without an account on Twitter!  And let's just say that 7-up was no damn slouch!

Conclusion

As was previously stated, the examples given were meant for fun.  But they're also to make people aware that when the right billion dollar corporation comes along and invests in a decent piece of Twitter data mining software, all those seemingly insignificant tweets that people think are either cool, or not a big deal, or totally insignificant, are going to end up making someone a lot of money...!

The end-game for "Big Money" corporate entities is to get into the heads of as many people as possible so they can trigger calls-to-action, at-will.  Twitter is going to be an abnormally useful tool when it comes to achieving that.

But for now, have fun... and remember, Big Brother is watching you!

"And Please Stop By "The Big Twitter Experiment - And the Most Awkward Twitter Comment Ever?" And Help Out. 

Thanks...!

twitter secret tweets scoble starfish robert scoble twittervision twittersearch twittermaps twittervolume blogs blogging blogging tools social media social bookmarking web 2.0 google conspiracy theory jerry mander patriot act big brother imsweetie alice seba sam freedom

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The First Ever Controversy Blog Meme - Stealthy Tips on Steroids

Hey, Look!  It's the Scoble Starfish!  What's IT Doing Here?

Those who know me understand that I could not just come up with an ordinary blog meme.  But I first wanted check if there were any cool, new super factoids I should know about starting a meme so I Googled for "How to Start a Meme" and found Dane Morgan astonished that Google had very little in the way to report on that query.  Maybe it's because there ain't nuthin to it? ;-)

So in starting my first blog meme, my list of criteria looked something like this:

1. It must fit in with the "controversy" theme.
2. It has to take bloggers down "the road less traveled (no ordinary controversies).
3. It has to have MASSIVE teaching potential; and
4. It has to be FUN.

We mustn't forget FUN....!  So listen, watch and learn...!

Sam Freedom's Controversy Meme

The rules are very simple:

1. Blog about THREE to FIVE (3-5) secret or cool ways you know how to obtain something valuable outside the established order.  These will be some of the unexpected, ways of getting needs met whether for your blogs, or for life, in general (you'll see my examples in a moment).
2. Begin by including 1 link to this post with a mention of it as the origin of the Controversy Meme; and 1 link pointing to, and naming, the person who tagged you.
3. End by linking to, and notifying, 5 other bloggers you admire or think would enjoy sharing their homegrown wisdom;
4. Use the Technorati Tag for Controversy Meme.  Since these are going to be real secrets, tips and tricks, each person's contribution will be more than mere likes and dislikes but will actually have some significant value.  Using the Technorati Tag for "Controversy Meme" will make them all accessible from one place (feel free to use other tags, too, such as "blog memes" or "memes").

<a target="_blank" href="http://www.technorati.com/tag/controversy+meme">Controversy Meme</a>
Code for the Technorati Tag if You Need It

Please Note:  It doesn't have to be a TRUE secret.  The point is to possibly help others and create an overall feeling of goodwill.

Let the Controversy Meme Begin!

1. Free MP3 - Oh yea, sure.  Just download a copy of Limewire or eMule or get all tangled up in iTunes like everybody else, right?  Wrong.  It's much simpler than that.  It's called Project Playlist:

   
   So you enter in some magic keywords, and...

   
   What's that at the very bottom?  Oh, a link to the MP3...

   In short, any song you find through Project Playlist also comes with the link to its location.  All anyone would have to do, theoretically, is create a hyperlink to it and then right click and choose "Save As" or "Save Target As..." and Voila! - A free MP3.  Now remember, music is copyrighted and downloading free music is wrong and can get you in trouble.

   YouTube Video Demonstration
    

2. Index Page Treasure Hunt - The previous tip leads to music.  This little secret allows you greater control of your search and, therefore, a much tighter focus over a far wider range of results.  It's a tiny bit involved but easy once you know it so it's best left to a video which is worth a 1000 pictures which is worth a 1000 words.  So here's your "million words" on how to find free mp3, mp4, pdf and whatever else your greedy little fingers desire:

    

3. Hard-to-Find Ready-Made Autoplay Music for Any Site - Now, I'm not saying anyone should actually DO this or that even I do it but if you embed a video from any video site, set it to autoplay, and then resize the height and width down to 1 pixel, you've got yourself some instant background music without any video distracting from your written message.  Now if that's against a video site's TOS then I suggest you don't do it.

 
4. The Forum-within-a-Forum - Actually, this is very powerful and requires a bit of explaining so I'll put it one of my next blogs.  It takes all of a big 10 minutes to set up.  Here's a picture of some results after a day or two from just a quick 10 minute free technique:

Controversy Meme Suggestions:  You don't have to have elaborate pictures and headings, you can just list 3-5 ways of getting something accomplished uniquely, or secretly, or at a cool advantage over the established ways.  It can even be something like, "Buying a new mouse and returning your old worn-out mouse for an exchange so that you have a new mouse and a new mouse backup."  Just make it slick and, hopefully, an embarrassment to your friends and family.  And remember to tag it with the "controversy meme" tag in the textbox up above.

I Tag the Following Bloggers

1. Dane Morgan - There's marketer/bloggers and there's blogger/marketers and Dane's about as close to being balanced between the two as anyone you'll ever meet.  Plus, the guy ALWAYS has some clever little traffic-generating techniques up his sleeve such as showing up first in Google for "How to Start a Meme."  Not to mention, if Dane didn't hate me after our very first meeting several years ago on HowtoCorp forum, there's a pretty good chance he'll never hate me.  So I tag Dane first.

2. Andy Beard - To me, Andy is an uber-blogger.  The fact that he'd probably deny it would be just another example that would help make my case.  Andy is highly respected by 452,368,721,429.553 bloggers and being comfortably able to fit, and endure, my shenanigans into his overall view of the world has earned him my respect, as well.  And besides, I think he secretly longs to be a wild man like me so this will be a good exercise as a warm-up.

3. Tellin It Like It Is (Lin) - Didn't even know her before now.  In fact, as I'm writing this, she hasn't even yet seen my introductory comment on her blog.  I picked her out of respect for the power of social media.  I did not even know her until I saw her comment in the sidebar at Dane Morgan's profile on BlogCatalog.  After going to her blog, I found it not only to be VERY good and informative but also sporting it's own Interactive Experiment, a Technorati Favorites Exchange which she attributed to DoshDosh... which I also read about on Andy Beard's blog.  The connections are maddening! ;-) 

   Here, take 2 seconds to please Technorati Fave us both (Fave Lin - Fave Sam).  Thank you. 

   Make sure to leave us both your Technorati Fave links in our respective comment sections and we'll support you with a Technorati Fave right back!

4. Brad Fallon (click "Learn More" to see a video of Brad in action) - Until Brad sent out a little down-to-earth note sheepishly admitting how much he liked Twitter, I saw him as just another of the big-name internet marketers who just happened to make the right connections at the right time and got a jump on the subsequent waves of wanna-be marketers coming down the pipeline.  After all, I had spent most of my life on the inside of my family's business that just sold 1 of its divisions for $10m so his earnings weren't what impressed me.  But along with his intro to Twitter was his good-natured SEO battle with Mike Filsaime for the term, "The Coolest Guy on the planet."  Now THAT was fun.  And THAT was something into which I could gladly sink my teeth.  I figured, amongst other things, that THAT was a chance to introduce myself to him without having to grovel and chase him around at a $3,000  per person internet marketing sales pitch.

And lo and behold...


Yeah, But Only Google Matters When It Comes to Contests, Right?


Ok, Ya Happy Now?

Anyways, I'm gonna Twitter Brad Fallon and see if he's able to come out and play today.

5. Robert Scoble - There's too many reasons why I chose this guy.  For many in the blogging community, it'll be difficult to believe that not only had I not heard about him until several days ago but that I'm calling him out on the first ever Controversy Meme and actually expecting that he'll respond.  Why not?  If you only knew what I really do on the other side of this piece of glass, you'd know that I honestly believe anything's possible  Seriously, if you don't dare, you don't succeed but, anyways, here are my reasons why I chose Robert Scoble.

a. Robert Scoble probably has more Google Alerts set up than there are sticky notes throughout the Pentagon combined.  So I'm sure he'll find his way here.
b. Paying respects to the power of social media, yet again, I embarked upon "The Great Adventure" by clicking Justin Kownacki's icon on my MyBlogLog widget and ended up at his Cafe Witness.  True to his blog's title, he was commenting that he'd witnessed a conversation on, of all places, Twitter, between Eric Rice and Robert Scoble.


It's that darned Scoble Starfish, again...!

Robert found his way to Justin's blog and chimed in which lead me to Robert's blog.  There was one, in particular, where I read...

"I tell ya, the more I understand 'the new blogging world' the more I want to create a fake identity and just make stuff up about people. But, instead, I’m going to crawl back into my little walled garden."

Did you hear that?  He said, "....a fake identity and just make stuff up about people."  Anyone?  Did anyone hear him say "Sam Freedom"?  Yes, that's it.  While so much of the blogging community feels they need a little more Scoble in their lives, Scoble unwittingly expressed his need for a little more Sam Freedom in his life. 

And if you only knew what I did on the other side of this piece of glass, you'd know that I honestly believe anything's possible.
d. Robert is a product of the social media craze.  He's a grassroots kinda guy.  And a Stealthy Tip sharing Controversy Meme is about as grassroots as it gets.

Alright, have I linked to enough people yet?  Anyone who has some stealthy tips to share about ANYTHING at all, feel free to share your stealthy/controversial tips in this meme and include the link to your blog (and yourTechnorati Fave if ya got one) in the comments section.

robert scoble scobleizer andy beard brad fallon dane morgan justin kownacki scoble starfish social media tellinitlikeitis eric rice social media sam freedom controversy meme memes blog meme blog memes freeiq twitter blogging fun blogs internet marketing technorati technorati faves technorati favorites project playlist free mp3 hacks black hat controversy the coolest guy on the planet mybloglog blogcatalog

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